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 Post subject: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 1:09 am 
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Location: Masterton New Zealand
Together with a Colchester Boys High School year book, so that would date it about 1952.


When Uncle Fred
Had gone to bed,
Everybody shouted!
Uncle Fred came down again
And everyone got clouted!


There was a young man who said ,”Oi!”
A red blooded American boy.
When they said,”Are you Jim?”
He replied,”I’m not him!
He’s quite pink and excessively coy!”


The elephant said to the kangaroo,
“I’m terribly pleased to say how do you do.
The large green trees, with the rhubarb leaves
Leave much to be desired.
I fear that my feet,
Tho exceedingly neat,
Are too big for the large yellow flowers.”
He sat for a day in the warm scented hay
And played with a small grey raccoon.
Then he left him that night,
To search for the light
Of the pale faced and silvery moon.
.

The lighted match that breaks in half just as you have struck it!
The pipe that’s out but starts a fire within one’s jacket pocket.
The ember that jumps from the fire, it’s whereabouts in doubt!
These pyrotechnic wonders are sent to try us out!

The cup that empties itself out when carrying a tray,
The champagne cork that pops itself when 20 feet away,
The milk that boils while someone knocks politely at the door,
These things are sent to try us out- but isn’t it a bore?





I grew a beard,
Because I heared
That strained food
Was very good
For wind
And mind
And the complexion!


A beard is:
Face fuzz if your very young.
Artistic if you’re highly strung
Noble if you’re nautical.
Snooty if you’re haughtical
Dirty if you wear long hair
Essential if you go round bare
And astounding if you’re 3 years old!

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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:12 am 
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When I read these, I hear them in a rather posh young boy's voice!! :P :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 8:10 pm 
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LOL! Yes probably Helen, bt nw its slppt inta a Kiwi!

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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 10:49 pm 
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I imagined Carrol Lewis and a bit of Ogden Nash....both of whom I love!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2016 11:23 pm 
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I love them too Linny , it's strange that I hadn't heard of them until long after I wrote those at Colchester BHS. I was a boarder there and after 'prep' (homework) it was the chess club ( the headmaster H.D.Wells, was a chess champion and nephew of H.G.Wells) , the Newfooty club or the poetry club. That school was really fun! We had a 70 year old physical education teacher who was an absolute wizz on the parallel bars! and a French teacher who was French! :)

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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 1:08 am 
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Just don't get me started on MY schoolboy poetry and limericks. :roll:

I did post many of them several years ago and can still remember most of them so watch out!!! :twisted:

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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 2:05 am 
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:D Yes please Paul!

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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Fri Nov 04, 2016 3:32 pm 
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I'm with Torre! Please do Paul.

Doesn't surprise me that Michael's writing was independent of those writers, well because...talent and a kind imaginative heart makes lovely wordsmithing.

I sure enjoy reading everyone's stories and thoughts about things. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 7:32 pm 
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O K here is one of them:

Willie, a rotter, mean as hell
Pushed his sister down the well.

Their mother sighed while drawing water
"Gosh it's tough to raise a daughter!"

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Paul.

Blessed are the crack'd - for it is they who will let in the light.


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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 11:06 pm 
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:lol: 8) 8) :lol:
Seriously funny!! Reminds me of the limericks that King George favored as depicted on Netflix, "The Crown"......only not as bawdy and twice
as clever, Paul.

Has anyone seen that show...would love your opinion on accuracy. It seems so lovely.


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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 12:47 am 
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I can get bawdier because I can remember some limericks from a local university rag magazine in the 1950's:

There was a young lady called Myrtle
Who flirted a sea with a turtle.
Soon after was born...
To Myrtle, a Prawn
Which just shows how fert'le was Myrtle

There was a young lady from Wantage
of whom the Town Clerk took advantage.
Said the Borough Surveyor
"You really must pay her
'cos you've totally altered her frontage".

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Paul.

Blessed are the crack'd - for it is they who will let in the light.


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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 9:42 am 
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LOL! There's lots of scope there Paul!
I should point out, to those with a short memory that what follows was posted on 19/9/2005! :D

The Hippo and the Bird

The hippo’s delight was far out of sight,
As she lay in an innocent pose.
Delighted by water
This pachyderm’s daughter,
Displayed just the end of her nose.

A bird of thin kind stood upon her behind,
And rid her of various nits.
He knew that his host
Harboured the most,
Down near the bit where she sits.

After a while, of dining in style,
He perceived that his legs had got shorter
For the wet stuff had rose
Beyond his long toes,
And his beakful of nits full of water.

He looked at the sky, with one beady eye,
And considered it likely that rain
Was the cause of the wet
That had caused him to get
His feathers to go down the drain.

The brain of a bird, as often is heard,
Is not known for it’s skill in debate,
Sometimes I think
As it stops for a drink,
How on earth can it find it’s own mate!

The bird, now rinsed, is completely convinced
That the water is rapidly filling.
It thinks of a plan,
As only birds can,
To save it from this kind of chilling.

It will call on it’s host, to summons it’s most
To swim upwards as fast as it’s able.
Then once at the top,
Off he quickly would hop
And find himself something more stable.

This poor, wretched bird, if only he’d heard
That the nits and the hippo that’s got ‘em,
When the sunshine is hot,
As likely as not,
They’ll sink, for hours, to the bottom.

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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 10:44 am 
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:lol: :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 3:15 pm 
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:lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Found this in a cardboard box
PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 12:42 am 
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More will follow, when I can find them. I used to write quite a few doggerel ditties when roused and there are two I know I have somewhere.

I lost two when I gave up work. One was a reference for a secretary who left us and the other was to a client who thought we ought to treat him better.

I wrote one with several verses when I was give a reprimand for talking in class and told to write an essay on what I had done. I can only remember the first verse:_

Mr Elwell's golden rule
Is that boys be quiet in school.
They should not talk or make a noise
But should behave like model boys.

It got me off the hook :D

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Paul.

Blessed are the crack'd - for it is they who will let in the light.


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